Lately I can hear that still small voice asking me to simply, ‘stop everything’. The more I try to get myself out of the stressful mess I’m in, the more stuck I become and the more frustrated I get and this cycle of hurt and pain never ends. I’m so focused and consumed on the fact that my life isn’t at all where I’d like it to be and I give my full attention to my fears and worries, not realizing in the moment that it’s destroying me. Sometimes I wonder how in a matter of months I’ve slipped so far under such heavy emotional and spiritual stress, what happened? How did I allow myself to get here? The truth is, the more I ask questions like that – the more I feel as if I’m a failure and my faith is weak.
I can’t remember the last time I took a breath and just sat in silence, listening for Gods voice. My thoughts are always SO loud, in every moment of every day – it never stops. I’m so easily distracted that when I try to pray or spend time with God – I feel like I get nowhere. As time goes by I’m beginning to feel so drained of energy that I’m just allowing myself to remain in this state because trying to find my way out of it seems impossible.
‘Impossible’... I’ve become too friendly with this word and that in itself is an insult to God. I’m beginning to realize that maybe he’s allowed me to cage myself in this mess I’ve been making just to remind me of a simple and powerful truth. Depend on Him.
Depend on Him.
I’ve been here before, a few times actually. It’s amazing how easily we can forget. It’s amazing how God can pull us out of such awful situations in life – and yet the next time we encounter a situation, we try to go it alone and we fail. As I write this I can imagine God with a smile on his face looking at me and saying, ‘are you ready to give up on yourself and rely ONLY on me?’ I don’t see him as angry at the fact that I’ve been pushing Him away by relying on myself and my own strength... I see Him with a smile. He knows my weaknesses, He knows my pain and he knows my way out. The smile makes me realize that He’s been here all along, he’s been waiting... watching my every failed move... the smile makes me realize that he’s holding out his hand and asking me (again) to TRUST HIM and DEPEND ON HIM.
Stop everything. Stop moving. Rely on God’s strength and be filled with HIS love and peace and doors will be opened. Spend time with Him, reading the word and praying and listening to HIS voice rather than your own. Stop looking for a way out. Look to Christ and lean on Him and the way out will come to you.
Trust Him.
Depend on Him.
Your blog brought back to me a song I recently heard called "Blessings" by Laura Story. If you have not heard it maybe you can hear it on line like I did.Many times when it seems dark ,we think we have travelled there on our own , in someway walking away from where God wants to lead us. At times that may be true but there are other times He has led us there to teach us how to turn to Him to trust Him. It is a way to build a foundation of faith, a block at a time. He brought me through this ( one block), He gave me peace (2 blocks), He gave me wisdom (3 blocks). Before you know it you have a foundation built on truths you have lived not just heard about. Then when the enemy comes and whispers lies in your ear you have something strong , something you know that cannot be shaken. The same God who gave the blocks before still keeps His promises, still is Sovereign and still loves you. The same yesterday , today and tomorrow. He knows the plans He has for you and they are plans for good not to harm, plans to shape you and mold you by life's experiences to touch a hurting world.God richly bless you as you turn to Him on the journey...
ReplyDelete